i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
