just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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