I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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