Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
