The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize