i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
