we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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