We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
