If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
