I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
