yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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