Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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