I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
