Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
