hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
