oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
