Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
