Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
