We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
