What did we do last night that was yellow?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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