Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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