i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
