I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
