Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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