i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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