batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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