somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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