Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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