Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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