you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
