So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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