I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
