if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He? As in you personified your dick?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
