He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
