why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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