We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
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Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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