Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize