Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
