lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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