I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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