I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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