we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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