i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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