I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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