We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
