even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
