Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
