Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
