Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
