my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
