Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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