I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
