The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
