he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
