fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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