I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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