he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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