That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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