Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
