I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
