I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize