Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have demons in me.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize