I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
