pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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