Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
