there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
