how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize